Interracial Relationships in the BDSM Lifestyle

laceA few weeks ago, I read a conversation on Twitter discussing interracial relationships, namely those between White men and Black women. The main issue was related to the latter group being seen as a fetish by the former. It immediately piqued my interest– my very first relationship ever was with a White man. While I did not engage much in said conversation, I found myself revisiting what had transpired within that affair.

Although my ex (let’s call Him B) wasn’t my first, our relationship placed me on a path that has determined my desires and needs for all lovers and boyfriends who have followed Him. It was He who introduced me to BDSM and allowed me to express myself as a “submissive”. Although I was quite young when I met Him, I had always felt unfulfilled sexually and emotionally in my previous engagements with men. I wanted to express and experience complete freedom sexually and emotionally.

I did not know the word or names for what it was I yearned for, but I craved for the opportunity to be in a space that provided the intimacy and protection to be uninhibited with my passions. I am certain I sounded like something out of a Flintstones cartoon when I attempted to explain to a previous boyfriend what I was craving. At one point, he blatantly asked me if I was “out of my mind.” Feeling humiliated, I tucked away these sensations and ideas. The last thing I needed was for men to think that I was mentally unsound.

This all changed when I met B. Our friendship quickly developed into something deeper, and it felt astoundingly different from anything I had previously experienced. He nurtured my sensitive side and did not blink twice the first time I sat at His feet and attempted to serve Him. Being that He was my first Dominant, He took the time to instruct me on “The Life”, and how to be a proper submissive. I was in awe of Him and of our life together. I could not believe that there was someone out there who understood me and knew exactly what I was feeling. I could be who I wanted to be with Him. It was as if He broke a dam inside of me and allowed feelings I did not even know I harbored to flow freely. I was happy.

(Read more here).

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