Nej and I continue to frequent LCY like before, and it is as if nothing has changed between me and Bill. During one visit Nej leaves early and and I find myself sitting at the bar keeping Bill company while he works. The same white woman who had been making moves on Bill is there as well, so our little love charade continues.
What makes this night so different and awkward from the others is that Rolf is there and is still quite persistent with his advances. I do my best to be polite with my rejections — even answering Rolf in French to throw anyone who is paying attention off — but it is obvious to all who are there that Rolf is tenacious and unrelenting. I admit to Bill that his boss is attracted to me and I watch him bristle slightly at the news. At one point he let’s out a surprised laugh and says, “is he crazy?” I suppose he is.
The dinner service at LCY begins to wind down, which allows for conversation to flow freely between me and Bill. We speak on his family history, most notably his mother’s passing years before. I feel my protective mode starting to kick in, and all I want to do is keep him safe.
I spot two beaded bracelets around his slender arm, and I begin to toy one off of his wrist. As I slip it onto my own, he says: “I had 3. Gave one to my cousin and the other to my sister.” I smile and respond dryly, as is my nature, “I hope you won’t be expecting this back.” He smiles and playfully puts both palms up as if he is surrendering it to me. But I know that won’t be my only conquest from him that night.
The restaurant closes around 1 a.m. and we walk out hand in hand. I don’t want the night to end and neither does Bill. I suggest my place and he quickly agrees. We are soon in a cab headed home. I lay my head on his shoulder only to have him lift it up and kiss me. Its our first kiss and I’m floating. The car is dark with only the passing street lights illuminating us every once in a while, but I know his eyes are on me. We continue kissing until it hits me — my bedroom is a fucking mess!
I mean there are clothes scattered everywhere!! On the floor, on the table, near the bed, by the closet. EVERYWHERE. The toll of my job and other obligations have left me with no time to get it together. I timidly warn him of this, but he laughs it off. “Oh, you’ll see my friend,” I think.
When we get to my apartment, he seems a bit shocked at the ransacked decor, but doesn’t say much. He turns to my bookshelf with great interest and starts scanning it. Every once in a while he stops and utters a book title. When he makes it to the bottom, he turns to me and says “there’s a lot of history books here.” I nod and babble on about how “beautiful” they all are. I’m nervous…
…but not for long. He pulls me to him, and we have our first night together. Its awkward, funny and sweet. We lay in bed afterwards having pillow-talk and it all feels like a major outer-body experience. Part of me cannot believe he is here…with me…and the other…she’s screaming “its about time…”